I have to admit that it isn’t just the men in Seattle that can make dating and getting laid difficult. I bare responsibility for that too. I carry baggage with me from a relationship that is longer and more twisted than anyone knows. It refuses to die and tears me apart several times a year. It’s over for sure but Mr. X, my Ex, pops into and out of my life several times a year. Each time he promises trips and says the sweetest things. Then without warning he becomes cold and disappears – most of the time without taking me anywhere or saying anything. I’m devastated all over again, every time. After three years apart, I thought I wouldn’t care and could just use him for a trip here or there. The sad part is that I care if he doesn’t call. For the past three years he’s been in the background of my life talking to me while I start each relationship. When the relationship gets to a certain point, I have to tell Mr. X and we part ways. He eventually pops up when my Seattle relationship ends and the cycle starts over. I’ve been single for a while so he’s been a constant as of late. He calls regularly, sends lots of texts and wants to plan a trip together. It was too perfect to last. I can’t get him to set a date for the trip, work keeps getting in the way of any conversation and I’ve become the emotional psycho he turned me into 6 years ago. He’s taken away the place where I felt whole and complete just being single, love my friends and my time alone. The last week I’ve felt more like the Seattle sky – dull and gray, where objects in the distance are mere shadows of their whole.
Thank goodness for good friends who tell me to move on and pour cement over the grave our corpse of a relationship has become. “It’s toxic”, they say. “You deserve better”, they say. All of which I know or hope I know deep in my bones. I love them for helping me through this again.
Mr. 60 Minutes proved was the perfect distraction last night as well. I couldn’t have planned it better. Just when I had wasted an entire day waiting for Mr. X to call, Mr. 60 Minutes texts excited to see me.A night of late night partying didn’t affect his performance in the least. I was the one who underperformed, done in 60 seconds. Yikes. With so much on my mind, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to climax! “It’s a good thing you like to go more than once,” he said, “otherwise I might have been a little disappointed.” I wouldn’t have blamed him. Round two was incredibly intense for me. My mind wouldn’t shut off and my emotions were bubbling to the surface. Riding him hit the spot that forced all thoughts from my mind.
Chatting afterward he remarked that it’s nice when you find a ‘fit’. It’s true. Physical attraction doesn’t always mean great sex. I’ve experienced that. Sometimes you just don’t fit physically, or the rhythm is off, or he likes it slow and sweet and you like it fast and hard. We fit. It’s great; especially because with such a good fit we don’t have to think too much. Nothing kills an orgasm like the brain! Mr. 60 Minutes is a welcomed distraction any time, especially until I pour cement over Mr. X.
Chasing Seattle
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